Houston’s indie kids were decked out in their hipster finest for WBP. Over the course of the day, I fell in love with certain individuals whose gloomy threads and trendy attitudes melted my heart for one reason or another. Here they are, The Top 6 Hottest Hipsters:
6) The miserable-looking girl wearing the 1999 Old Navy t-shirt tucked into high-waist, white hotpants. Your alabaster skin (which hadn’t seen the light of day since you started working the night shift at House of Pies in 2004) was turning various shades of lobster in the sun. How I longed to slather you with Banana Boat SPF-50!
5) You, with the firetruck-red hair and lipstick. Your white tube top revealed a poorly drawn tattoo in the middle of your back, which I think was supposed to be an outline of the state of California. Its closer resemblance to a flaccid phallus sent wicked thoughts tumbling through my brain.
4) Barefoot girl in the pink prairie dress. You are shrouded in mystery! Why were you carrying around a gallon jug of Hawaiian Punch all day? Didn’t your feet hurt? It kills me that I’ll never know.
3) Bearded tranny girl in tweed shorts, high socks, and Victorian schoolmarm shoes with hot pink laces. Call me.
2) The guy wearing skinny-leg jeans, an Urban Outfitter’s t-shirt and those neon sunglasses that have plastic stripes instead of lenses, so that they serve no function other than to look super-trendy. When I brushed past you, I caught a whiff of Bumble & Bumble Sumotech in your expertly tousled hair. You are truly one of a kind!!!
1) Pixie haircut, American Apparel black dress. During the American Sharks set, you jumped with zeal into a moshpit of three drunken men who were twice your size. I thought they would snap you. Hours later, you were onstage with the McKenzie’s, gyrating and making out with your boyfriend. It was dark—I can’t be sure—but I think you weren’t wearing panties. I will never forget you.
by Charlie Brite
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